Since I've barely had my TV on in the last few weeks

It has come to my personal attention that some of my adventures in e-mailing could make a good post. I'm gonna try it. The names have been abreviated but all you wicked smart people out there might be able to figure a couple of them out.

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mw: Also, oh TV god, what happened to Veronica Mars and life as we know it?
me: I was just wondering about that life as we know it thing too. And i'm so far behind in TV land, that as far as I know there is still Veronica Mars because there are episodes on top of my TV I haven't seen yet. But I haven't heard anything about either of those shows being shitcanned or anything.

mw: (adding to a Quote of the Week from TVGal) "Marissa and Alex - no longer welcome in the red states." Seth to Ryan on "The O.C." This is my new all-time favorite quote! Do you think I'm too old for Seth? I think it might cause baby mama drama (sorry, I just like that phrase).

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jm: i just farted
me: oooh...stinky
jm: actually, no, unless it was and drifted away very quickly...weird. i either put out nose burners or scentless gas pockets...notice our conversation went right back to ass activity?

me: (relaying an earlier event)
keith to me: "then we won't have to worry about misspelling assassinated."
me: "how do you misspell that...it's just ass and then ass and then -inated."
keith: (rolls eyes and walks away)

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jm: (after a work-related reference) ...and Monique, that huge, obnoxious woman who hosts Showtime at the Apollo...
me: that's Mo'Nique, to you. And the next time I go to the city (it will be my third trip there ever), i am so going to the Apollo and no one can stop me (and i'm going to figure out what that bar that Ella Fitzgerald's table is still sitting in the corner is called and go there too).
jm: (makes several references to me being shot)

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Oh, and there was a story on the wire about how hippos are really dangerous. Remember this.

Hippo kills tourist in Kenya
NAIVASHA, Kenya (AP) — A hippopotamus flipped and trampled an Australian tourist to death at a popular resort in central Kenya, police said Tuesday.
Vicky Elizabeth Bartlett, 50, was with a group of 12 tourists at Lake Naivasha on Monday night when the hippo attacked, said Simon Kiragu, the regional police chief.
“The hippo attacked the woman, flipping her into the air before tossing her on the ground and trampling her,” he said.
Bartlett was rushed to a hospital but died while undergoing treatment. No one else was injured in the attack.
Wilflife experts say hippos can pose extreme danger to humans. The animals come on shore at night to graze and will attack anything that comes between them and the water, where they feel safe.
The attack took place at Fisherman’s Camp, a popular lakeside campground, where signs warn tourists to beware of hippos after dark.
John Mwangi, the group’s tour guide, said the woman had seen a hippo the night before and was going to look for one again without telling him. The group was on its way to the Maasai Mara Game Reserve.

Okay, this little experiment fell very flat. Won't be doing this again. On a scale of one to fun, I'd give it a lamey-lame (except for the hippo story - it's funny because it's true).

I'll be back soon. Promise.