Saturday, December 25, 2004

Long Time Gone

Hi all. So, I've just returned from the hinterlands of northern Maine where I visited my parents for the holidays and spent a less than acceptable amount of time in the hot tub.

For this blog, I've decided to give accounting of my trip, which was all-in-all, fairly productive. Cold but productive.

I watched a lot of television (not as much as I'd hoped but still, quite a bit)...

I saw Love Actually on video (DVD, natch) but my DVD player was acting fruity and kept going all blue on the screen. It was frustrating but I did get to see the majority of the movie and it was funny. I laughed, I cried - seriously.

I saw Flight of the Phoenix at the theater (yes, THE theater). It sucked. Ass. Hard. I kept wondering if Dennis Quaid is still a coke head. And how Tyrese keeps getting movie roles. And what the hell was the deal with that Outkast montage thingy?

I watched 20+ hours of taped television, which leaves me a week behind still.

I saw the Christmas episode of ER which was very funny - especially Weaver's regifting - but is it just me or is the dude who hooked up with Mandy Moore in that movie turning into a useless feature of the show. Why can't they find more Parminder Nagra's?

Veronica Mars plays poker. Lisa Rinna has HUGE lips. Ugly with a capital F.

I came across a lost episode of Dr. Vegas and now I know why that show got the ax. As much fun as it is to watch Rob Lowe (and he is a funny guy - if Nason ever publishes my stream of consciousness rant involving 80s actors, it'll be a start to something that will definitely include Mr. Lowe), Joe Pantaliano is a curse to any show but to give him the same kind of role as he had in The Sopranos (before he was delicately whacked - and actually his role is more of mash-up of The Sopranos role and The Handler (which also got whacked but in a different way) role) and also to use the same theme song is just a recipe for disaster. I like Rob Lowe but even Sarah Lancaster sucked on this horrible show.

I watched the episode of Joey which guest-starred Lucy Liu (little Charlie's Angel reunion, I guess) and I laughed out loud several times. And it wasn't even that funny. Matt LeBlanc's facial expressions are comedic gold and he is SO Joey.

I got SOO sucked into the drama that is the new season of High School Reunion (I actually jumped ahead in my viewing which is something I normally only do for The O.C.). That Jaime is one crazy bitch (also, natch). That Gianni better watch his back, but methinks he's already distracted by Loretta's unwillingness to meet him halfway on the long distance thing. Okay, hypothetically speaking (and I'll phrase this as if it were happening to me which would be a dream come true), if a girl who played professional basketball in Italy (a la Sanaa Lathan in Love and Basketball *swoon*) asked you to move to Italy with her to continue a relationship you had both been wanting to explore for the ten years since high school, wouldn't you say, "Why yes, I've always wanted to live in Italy with a super hot girl."? So would I. But, my thoughts so far are that this season is already way suckier than last. There is so not going to be a love story that I am going to crave from week to week and the drama is all about that totally crazy chick. And she is SUPER crazy. And that voice. Ugh! WATCH, damnit.

I watched an episode each of Scrubs and Eve and I'm still saying that while Scrubs is definitely growing on me (and it's nice to see Donald Faison being funny), Eve is still my favorite sitcom (although Joey is making that run for it - if only he'd get together with the married neighbor - who'd obviously have to be single first). It's so nice to see a show with black actors (and on UPN no less) that's not all about "black people do this and white people do that."

I also caught a few reruns of Boy Meets World. That Eric Friedle is funny. But I've been noticing all the guest stars lately. The girl who played Harley Kiner sister was familiar but I couldn't place her. I saw Eric Balfour the other night though. And there have been others. It's my new little game.

I'm also nominating The North Shore (TV Gal makes fun of people watching this show) for the "Oh NO They Di'in't" show (to replace Melrose Place and the final years of (a little bit) Bev Hills). Every time something is going on, one of those meddling bastards screws it all up. It's so funny. And bringing in Shannen Doherty has only upped that quotient by about 50 times.

Let's see, aside from all that, what else did I do? I called up this friend of mine from high school to see what he's been up to since I haven't seen him for a few years. Still the same guy and we still got along like it'd only been days since I'd seen him last. That was fun. My parents threw a cocktail party and lots of people (mostly relatives) came. That was fun but it got a little crowded around the drink table (Gritty's Best Bitter and Magic Hat #9 for me please - my friend Albie dipped back into his college years and polished off what can only be described as a couple of handfuls of Rolling Rock - good times). This girl (woman, now - mom, too, actually) who used to live across the street came as well. I'm intimidated by this woman. She's in better shape than most of the people I know put together and every time I see her she is better looking than the last time. Hooray for her.

I'm sure there should be more to this so I'll think about it while I'm watching more TV tonight and I'll add more tomorrow. It's Christmas Break for all the people I know who are still in college (which actually includes me - how funny is that? ask my sister, she can't stop laughing) so I'm looking forward to this week.

See you soon.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

See You, See Me

Okay, Nason, as promised here's a response that's more than a comment.

Now, I thought long and hard about how best to do this upcoming movie list. Okay, not that long and not that hard but I still think this is best. I will start by telling you what's coming in the next three months because beyond that the list gets unwieldy. There seems to be a glut of horror movies coming out soon but I've left most of those off the list for reasons to be explained soon.

I'll start with what is looking good to me these days.

White Noise: The dead communicate through radio and tv static. Less Poltergiest than it sounds I'm going to guess. This is the only horror movie on my list because, frankly, when it comes to horror movies, I am a big ol' sissy. But a friend of mine told me she was scared by the trailer alone and that's gotta count for something.

Elektra: Hollywood has taken the best part of "Daredevil" (Jennifer Garner whooping ass in tight suits) and decided to tell that story. I saw the preview for this last night at Flight of the Phoenix (Don't go.) and it rocked. At least the fight scenes and the tight suits did. There wasn't much talking.

Assault on Precinct 13: Another remake of an old action movie (Flight of the Phoenix was a remake of an old Jimmy Stewart-er), this time with Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, Gabriel Byrne, Drea de Matteo and Maria Bello. Originally tackled in 1976, this update looks stylized but still potent. Probably lacking in the political-ness of John Carpenter's original, Laurence Fishburne always turns in good performances (the final Matrix movie notwithstanding) and Ethan Hawke is starting to make a career of the naive cop role.

Cursed: The guys who brought us the Scream trilogy (and the Nightmare on Elm Street movies and Dawson's Creek, respectively), bring us a new breed of werewolf movie. With Christina Ricci no less. I say, "Yay!"

Alone in the Dark: Christian Slater, who while he never went away, has been seeming to pop up more and more frequently lately stars in this video game adaptation. I say, "Bring it on." The guy who tackled high school bitches (and Winona Ryder), pirate radio (and Samantha Mathis) and some kind of skateboarding conspiracy (and he got the girl in that one too) can take on anything.

A Sound of Thunder: Another Ray Bradbury story (think "I, Robot") gets the big screen treatment. The master of sci-fi knows how to write so unless the screenwriter is some kind of mindless hack (which is a distinct possibility) or the studio muddles it all up with hackneyed stereotypes (think Michael Crichton's time warp wow-er with Paul Walker this summer) then this one should go down nicely.

Upside of Anger: Another Kevin Costner weeper but this one sounds like it has more of a "Door in the Floor" vibe. This is the only limited release movie on my list and if I have my way it'll move nation-wide shortly thereafter.

Be Cool: The sequel to "Get Shorty." Chili Palmer (Travolta, again, natch) moves into the recording industry. Another Elmore Leonard book, another great movie.

The Jacket: This one looks pretty out there but Adrien Brody and Keira Knightley are both good enough to make it stand out. I'm looking forward to it in a big way.

D.E.B.S.: This movie has been making the rounds for what seems like years. Screened favorably at last year's Sundance, it's finally coming to theaters. Hot girls get trained to be government agents. Yes, please.

Sahara: Clive Cussler has written a ton of books and I've been wondering when Dirk Pitt would grace the big screen. Matthew McConaughey brings him to life opposite Penelope Cruz (why is that movie stars can't act together without becoming an item?)

I'm also mentioning this one but not favorably (although it'll probably have a few low-brow moments) - Guess Who: A remake of the Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn/Sidney Poitier classic this time with Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher. This is nearly blasphemy. They better do something really great.

Now, onto Nason's list. I'll start with the ones on which Mr. Josh and I seem to be in agreement.

Batman Begins: Christian Bale revamps Bruce Wayne and the guy who brought us "Memento" makes it watchable.

Million Dollar Baby: Hillary Swank has been gold since she finished off the Karate Kid franchise and since she taught Steve Sanders how to love on "Beverly Hills, 90210." Directed by Clint and starring a knockout actress.

War of the Worlds: I've been seeing photos from the filming of this on the wire for months now and as weird as they look, I'm guessing Speilberg and Cruise are going to pull another one off.

Constantine: A lot of Matrix-esque movie magic but this time the story only has to carry one movie. And it was based on a comic book so there's probably plenty of stuff they didn't even bother to use.

Now for where we differ.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith: I can't decide if it's more like "True Lies" or "Spy Kids" but either way, if it takes after it's lineage which with "The Bourne Identity" director Doug Liman (Is this what he did instead of "The Bourne Supremacy"?) at the helm it might have the punch to give it something new. And by something new, I mean something good.

XXX2: I'm kind of looking forward to this movie. I thought the first one pretty much blew but that had a lot to do with Vin Diesel (for a look at how far this pompous, over-inflated ego-having, money-grubbing (he wasn't given the second one because even after the failure of the first one he demanded an increase in salary) has fallen look no further than the upcoming "The Pacifier") and less to do with the actual movie. Ice Cube is a solid choice for this series (think "Mission: Impossible" but instead of changing directors every time they change the star) and as long as it's better than that one he did with Elizabeth Hurley in South Africa (which was really only half-bad) I think it has promise.

Willy Wonka: I was never a huge fan of the original but started to love it more after Marilyn Manson modeled his stage entrance after the boat ride. I do get a kick out of the maniacal Gene Wilder and it is a fanciful look at the world of candy. While the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton collaboration promises to be nothing short of stunning, it's also gonna be super creepy and that could make it less than the sugary treat it might have been.

Alive and Screaming: Out of the five projects Will Ferrell has in production at the moment, the only one I'm looking forward to is "Confederacy of Dunces" and if he ruins that book I'll never forgive him. Will Ferrell, to me, is not the comic genius he's getting credit for being. Every time I see him in a movie (or anything for that matter), I expect him to break out into that guy with the voice with no volume modulation. Which might make everything he does funnier.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou: I shouldn't even get started on how much I'm not even going to think about seeing this movie. I didn't like "Bottle Rocket" and then I didn't like "Rushmore" so I didn't even bother with "The Royal Tennenbaums" and this movie is going to pass me by as well. I recently read a thing where during a press conference some guy who has worked with Bill Murray on some other movie got up and asked Wes Anderson how he could continue to work with such a bastard. If I think of it when I get back to work, I'll post the little article as a comment.

Okay, now for the other stuff.

First, you include "The Roommate" and not me as the trailer obsessed, movie-loving fanboy? I'm deeply hurt. Second, the best Patrick Swayze update I've seen in a long time was his appearance in the Entertainment Weekly back page feature "Stupid Questions" this summer. Find it. You'll laugh. Hard.

For movie (and lot of other entertainment news I use www.imdb.com, www.comingsoon.net, www.aintitcoolnews.com, www.zap2it.com and, of course, the coolest game ever made www.hsx.com.

There used to only be one movie trailer guy (and there pretty much still is just the one) but he's getting super busy (and kinda old) so there are a couple more. I'm not sure how you'd get this job but I'm betting you'd really have to know someone and have one helluva demo tape.

And I just wanted to say hi to Clyde. Action movies are the best thing in cinema. I always sit in the front five rows if there is going to be explosions or a lot of punching. And nothing says a lot of action like a Chinese gang. While I'm glad that at least Steven Segal has stopped making movies (or been run out of Hollywood), I did love his chopsocky style. But my real point here is that you shouldn't let Nason co-opt your love of (bad) movies for his own greedy purposes.

Monday, December 13, 2004

so naive

So, today, during one of what can only be described as many study breaks, I watched the episode of The O.C. from two weeks ago.

Full-time job + two college classes at a campus two hours from home = not nearly enough time to watch tv. As most of my friends know, since I work at night, I tape almost everything on television (three vcr's running nearly every night, thank you - and as a sidebar, if anyone from TiVo or one of the other DVR companies is looking to give stuff away, sign me up). Right now there are 12 full 6 hour tapes sitting next to my television waiting for me to watch them. I'll get to them, I know I will.

But now, back to my point. So, I'm watching The O.C. (and while I'm in agreement with TV Gal about the show letting up on the inside jokes - a LOT - and that the best Seth line was the one about Ryan liking long walks on the beach, punching people and not smiling) and I SOOOO did not see the Seth/Alex chemistry coming. Like I said, I'm a little naive. And she's cute. So, when the whole asking out portion of the show came along (how great was Ryan's double-take in the club?) I was just like "Whoa!" But now that it happened I think it's great. Or it could be great. Somehow that show always makes the chase so much better than the actual relationships. Like when Seth and Summer finally got together, the only really great part was when they were trying to have and having sex. That was funny.

So my point is, finally, that while I was really rooting for Seth and Summer to get back together at the same time I was getting really tired of the runaround the show was giving me and now that Seth is happy (ice cream nightcaps anyone?), I am happy.

Now, if they could only find away to remove Julie and Caleb from the show I'd be ecstatic.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Cribbing together

Okay, so I was too lazy (and uninspired) come up with anything on my own, so I read a bunch of stuff on the wire and pulled out five things I found interesting (or rather chunks of five things I found interesting). Here goes.

#1.) The story, like an old VHS tape, has undoubtedly been distorted by years of repeated use, but here goes:
It's 1975. Dustin Hoffman is on the set of John Schlesinger's "Marathon Man," running windsprints to prepare for a scene that calls for his character to appear flushed and out-of-breath. Seeing his young co-star jog up and down the street for no apparent reason, Laurence Olivier - the wizened Pharaoh of British theater - haughtily asks Hoffman to explain himself. When Hoffman obliges, Olivier shakes his head and clucks, "Why don't you try acting, my boy?"
Actors - or more accurately, movie actors - don't think that way anymore. You have to remember, Olivier came from a tradition where it was deemed acceptable for a white actor to smear burnt cork on his face and call himself Othello. Call it vanity, call it obsolete classicism, but actors of yesteryear truly believed that all performance - with perhaps a little cosmetic help - came from within. Physical authenticity was of lesser concern.
Today, audiences demand authenticity down to the very last pore...

Is this true? Do we, as an audience, demand this? Or is that just the myth that Hollywood believes? Every story lately points to the lack of interest in and knowledge of the general public constantly referred to by Hollywood "big shots." Perhaps if the actors of our time were better at their jobs (i.e. their "craft"), then they wouldn't have to be so physically "authentic."

#2.) While it's easy enough to label "House of Flying Daggers" a kung-fu movie, the film, like "Hero" and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" before it, properly belongs to the wuxia (wooshar) genre, which comes from a tradition of Chinese storytelling that mixes folk heroes and martial arts in a period setting. In the movies, it mostly boils down to swordsmen who seem to defy gravity with their supernatural skills.

I have never heard of wuxia. But now I feel so much more knowledgable. And I can now talk about my favorite genre of films with more precise terms. By the way, I am so excited for "House of Flying Daggers" I feel like a Pointer Sister.

#3.) Lindsay Lohan seems like a typical 18-year-old. She's really concerned with boys and her hair, she's fidgety and giggly, and she just bought these fuzzy purple boots from a Marc Jacobs sale.
But this seemingly typical teen, who first got noticed as a child playing those famous twins in "The Parent Trap" remake, has a full-time job. The freckled redhead has made herself a household name with films including "Freaky Friday" and "Mean Girls."
And now she's put out an album, "Speak."

Normal 18-year-old kids shop at Marc Jacobs? And, is it just me, or does the cover art for Tara Reid's BFF's album look like a cross between the album cover for the Toni Basil album with that '80s classic "Mickey" and the wonderfully funny but not very good drawing credited to StrongBad on Homestarrunner.com of Trogdor the Burninator?

#4.) Eddie Levert steps onto the stage.
"O'Jays front man ... a gospel growl that makes Michael Bolton sound like Shirley Temple ... Those sweaty parties in the basement ... Start a love train, love train."
His son, Gerald Levert, joins him.
"Wish these women would stop shrieking ... he is thick and sexy, like a soulful teddy bear ... Sounds just like his dad ... Oh, no, he didn't just roll across the stage!"
If you're of a certain age and a faithful disciple of soul music, then all of these intergenerational, intermingling thoughts swirl through your mind as you watch Eddie and Gerald Levert perform together in their Father and Son tour. And you're reassured knowing that in this age of tinny voices and forgettable lyrics, soul music is alive and kicking as long as these two have vocal cords that work.
Eddie, whose passion-drenched baritone has defined soul music for decades, has joined forces with his son Gerald, a retro version of himself who has penned 14 No. 1 R&B hits, with a newer, hip-hop inflected sound that's inescapably soulful.
The Father and Son tour almost didn't happen. Gerald, who has spent nearly 20 years working to step out of the shadow of his famous dad, didn't want to step back in.

Eddie Levert is Gerald Levert's father? And he was in the O'Jays? How do I not already know these things? I love the O'Jays. I was never too big a fan of Gerald Levert, or his 80s group Levert - yes, just plain Levert, but his dad is Eddie Levert so how bad can that be? I'd go see this tour.

#5.) Emily Gilmore on "Gilmore Girls" (Tuesday, WB): You already know one of my favorite things about "Gilmore Girls" is ability to have multiple story lines that cross generational lines. And yes it is hard to pick just one character out of this great show. But Kelly Bishop has the unique ability to be both humorous (witness her scheming to set Rory up) and heartbreaking(witness her sobbing after her date). As the impeccably controlled and society oriented Emily Gilmore, Bishop is a woman who knows she's made mistakes and is still desperately trying to connect with a daughter she'll never fully understand. Of all the relationships on "Gilmore Girls," it's Lorelai and her mother's that I consistently find the most gripping.

This is why I am constantly professing my love for Zap2It.com's TVGal. This is actually #3 out of her ten best characters on television. Of which I agree with 5 or 6, I'm not sure yet. But I do love this show and while it's hard to pick just one of the Stars Hollow denizens for appreciation, Emily Gilmore is an excellent choice. If you don't watch this show, you should. For the band references alone. But also for all the other pop culture references, the really great writing and characters you don't need to learn to love because they're are like your best friends from the start.

Phew...that's it. I'm done. Until next time (tomorrow for those of you who check out the radio one).

Friday, December 03, 2004

come with the comment

This was going to just be a comment to my friend's blog where he laments the total dearth of videos on MTV (this should come as news to no one) but it got out of hand so I decided to just post it.

I have also noticed that if you want to see videos (and frankly who doesn't?), you can not rely on our friends at MTV. So, it's come to my attention that in order to see actual music videos (instead of some of the worst stuff on television - Boiling Points, anyone?), you must watch BET.

Best on BET: Celebrity's (mostly rappers) Choice Top 25 Countdown on Saturday afternoons, Midnight Love (slow jams) at midnight on weekdays, BET UnCut (explicit videos) late nights, 106 & Park (the former and original home of BET in the city) afternoons on weekdays and Rap City: The Bassment (although this is pretty hit or miss) afternoons.

Granted those are all (or primarily) rap videos, and that may not be what you're in the mood to see. For a wider variety of videos you need to have to have one of those alternative VH1 (VH1Classic, VH1Soul) channels or Fuse (which is awesome - the newly renamed MuchMusic) or the alternative MTV (MTV2 (which sucks - too much programming now - sound familiar?), MTVJams (basically a VH1Soul ripoff and it sucks because it mostly just plays the shit that'd get regular MTV play if they still played videos) or MTVHits (which is all the stuff that doesn't qualify as a "Jam" but would have been on MTV (or more recently MTV2 before they started running programming all the time too - this also sucks). So BET (for everyone with regular cable only) and Fuse and VH1Soul (my FAVORITE) and VH1Classic (the 80's blocks are the best followed closely by Two-Play Tuesdays).

I recently dumped my all-the-channels cable primarily due to the fact that I hate Adelphia but also because those evil people still do not offer DVR (or In-Demand television, for that matter) and have no plans to in the near future. So, for the time being, I'm living with basic cable (networks, plus regular cable networks (USA, FX, TNT, the Weather Channel, ESPN, NESN, Cartoon Network, etc.) but no HBO or Starz! or Turner Classic Movies or Outdoor Life Network or the vaunted alternative VH1 channels) and running three VCR's to keep up with my television watching.

This is what I'm taping (and watching) these days:


there are sometimes some that don't make the cut due to lack of vcrs (or no TiVo or DVR depending on how you look at it)...

Sunday:

American Dreams (NBC)
Desperate Housewives (ABC)
Arrested Development (FOX)
Jack & Bobby (WB)
The Mountain (WB)
Wild Card (Lifetime)

Monday:

One on One (UPN)
Half and Half (UPN)
Second Time Around (UPN)
Las Vegas (NBC)
LAX (NBC) (canceled)
Everwood (WB)
Still Standing (CBS)
Two and A Half Men (CBS)

Tuesdays:

All of Us (UPN)
Eve (UPN)
Veronica Mars (UPN)
Scrubs (NBC)
According to Jim (ABC)
Rodney (ABC)
House (FOX)
Gilmore Girls (WB)
One Tree Hill (WB)
NCIS (CBS)
Clubhouse (CBS) (canceled)
High School Reunion (UPN)

Wednesdays:

Kevin Hill (UPN)
That 70's Show (FOX)
Quintuplets (FOX)
Hawaii (NBC) (hiatus)
Lost (ABC)
Smallville (WB)
The Mountain (WB)
King of Queens (CBS)

Thursdays:

Joey (NBC)
ER (NBC)
The O.C. (FOX)
North Shore (FOX)
life as we know it (ABC)

Fridays:

8 Simple Rules (ABC)
Complete Savages (ABC)
What I Like About You (WB)
Grounded For Life (WB)
Reba (WB)
Joan of Arcadia (CBS)
Third Watch (NBC)
Monk (USA)

Saturdays:
Spider-Man (ABCFam)
The Batman (WB)

also:
Nip/Tuck (FX)
Rescue Me (FX)
Surreal Life (VH1)
Made (MTV)
Things I Hate About You (Bravo)
Crossroads (CMT)
Every made-for-TV movie on ABC Family

Reruns
Dharma & Greg (FOX)
Boy Meets World (Disney)
Angel (WB & TNT)
Buffy (WB & FX)
Dawson's Creek (ABCFam)
PowerPuff Girls (Cartoon)