See You, See Me

Okay, Nason, as promised here's a response that's more than a comment.

Now, I thought long and hard about how best to do this upcoming movie list. Okay, not that long and not that hard but I still think this is best. I will start by telling you what's coming in the next three months because beyond that the list gets unwieldy. There seems to be a glut of horror movies coming out soon but I've left most of those off the list for reasons to be explained soon.

I'll start with what is looking good to me these days.

White Noise: The dead communicate through radio and tv static. Less Poltergiest than it sounds I'm going to guess. This is the only horror movie on my list because, frankly, when it comes to horror movies, I am a big ol' sissy. But a friend of mine told me she was scared by the trailer alone and that's gotta count for something.

Elektra: Hollywood has taken the best part of "Daredevil" (Jennifer Garner whooping ass in tight suits) and decided to tell that story. I saw the preview for this last night at Flight of the Phoenix (Don't go.) and it rocked. At least the fight scenes and the tight suits did. There wasn't much talking.

Assault on Precinct 13: Another remake of an old action movie (Flight of the Phoenix was a remake of an old Jimmy Stewart-er), this time with Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, Gabriel Byrne, Drea de Matteo and Maria Bello. Originally tackled in 1976, this update looks stylized but still potent. Probably lacking in the political-ness of John Carpenter's original, Laurence Fishburne always turns in good performances (the final Matrix movie notwithstanding) and Ethan Hawke is starting to make a career of the naive cop role.

Cursed: The guys who brought us the Scream trilogy (and the Nightmare on Elm Street movies and Dawson's Creek, respectively), bring us a new breed of werewolf movie. With Christina Ricci no less. I say, "Yay!"

Alone in the Dark: Christian Slater, who while he never went away, has been seeming to pop up more and more frequently lately stars in this video game adaptation. I say, "Bring it on." The guy who tackled high school bitches (and Winona Ryder), pirate radio (and Samantha Mathis) and some kind of skateboarding conspiracy (and he got the girl in that one too) can take on anything.

A Sound of Thunder: Another Ray Bradbury story (think "I, Robot") gets the big screen treatment. The master of sci-fi knows how to write so unless the screenwriter is some kind of mindless hack (which is a distinct possibility) or the studio muddles it all up with hackneyed stereotypes (think Michael Crichton's time warp wow-er with Paul Walker this summer) then this one should go down nicely.

Upside of Anger: Another Kevin Costner weeper but this one sounds like it has more of a "Door in the Floor" vibe. This is the only limited release movie on my list and if I have my way it'll move nation-wide shortly thereafter.

Be Cool: The sequel to "Get Shorty." Chili Palmer (Travolta, again, natch) moves into the recording industry. Another Elmore Leonard book, another great movie.

The Jacket: This one looks pretty out there but Adrien Brody and Keira Knightley are both good enough to make it stand out. I'm looking forward to it in a big way.

D.E.B.S.: This movie has been making the rounds for what seems like years. Screened favorably at last year's Sundance, it's finally coming to theaters. Hot girls get trained to be government agents. Yes, please.

Sahara: Clive Cussler has written a ton of books and I've been wondering when Dirk Pitt would grace the big screen. Matthew McConaughey brings him to life opposite Penelope Cruz (why is that movie stars can't act together without becoming an item?)

I'm also mentioning this one but not favorably (although it'll probably have a few low-brow moments) - Guess Who: A remake of the Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn/Sidney Poitier classic this time with Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher. This is nearly blasphemy. They better do something really great.

Now, onto Nason's list. I'll start with the ones on which Mr. Josh and I seem to be in agreement.

Batman Begins: Christian Bale revamps Bruce Wayne and the guy who brought us "Memento" makes it watchable.

Million Dollar Baby: Hillary Swank has been gold since she finished off the Karate Kid franchise and since she taught Steve Sanders how to love on "Beverly Hills, 90210." Directed by Clint and starring a knockout actress.

War of the Worlds: I've been seeing photos from the filming of this on the wire for months now and as weird as they look, I'm guessing Speilberg and Cruise are going to pull another one off.

Constantine: A lot of Matrix-esque movie magic but this time the story only has to carry one movie. And it was based on a comic book so there's probably plenty of stuff they didn't even bother to use.

Now for where we differ.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith: I can't decide if it's more like "True Lies" or "Spy Kids" but either way, if it takes after it's lineage which with "The Bourne Identity" director Doug Liman (Is this what he did instead of "The Bourne Supremacy"?) at the helm it might have the punch to give it something new. And by something new, I mean something good.

XXX2: I'm kind of looking forward to this movie. I thought the first one pretty much blew but that had a lot to do with Vin Diesel (for a look at how far this pompous, over-inflated ego-having, money-grubbing (he wasn't given the second one because even after the failure of the first one he demanded an increase in salary) has fallen look no further than the upcoming "The Pacifier") and less to do with the actual movie. Ice Cube is a solid choice for this series (think "Mission: Impossible" but instead of changing directors every time they change the star) and as long as it's better than that one he did with Elizabeth Hurley in South Africa (which was really only half-bad) I think it has promise.

Willy Wonka: I was never a huge fan of the original but started to love it more after Marilyn Manson modeled his stage entrance after the boat ride. I do get a kick out of the maniacal Gene Wilder and it is a fanciful look at the world of candy. While the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton collaboration promises to be nothing short of stunning, it's also gonna be super creepy and that could make it less than the sugary treat it might have been.

Alive and Screaming: Out of the five projects Will Ferrell has in production at the moment, the only one I'm looking forward to is "Confederacy of Dunces" and if he ruins that book I'll never forgive him. Will Ferrell, to me, is not the comic genius he's getting credit for being. Every time I see him in a movie (or anything for that matter), I expect him to break out into that guy with the voice with no volume modulation. Which might make everything he does funnier.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou: I shouldn't even get started on how much I'm not even going to think about seeing this movie. I didn't like "Bottle Rocket" and then I didn't like "Rushmore" so I didn't even bother with "The Royal Tennenbaums" and this movie is going to pass me by as well. I recently read a thing where during a press conference some guy who has worked with Bill Murray on some other movie got up and asked Wes Anderson how he could continue to work with such a bastard. If I think of it when I get back to work, I'll post the little article as a comment.

Okay, now for the other stuff.

First, you include "The Roommate" and not me as the trailer obsessed, movie-loving fanboy? I'm deeply hurt. Second, the best Patrick Swayze update I've seen in a long time was his appearance in the Entertainment Weekly back page feature "Stupid Questions" this summer. Find it. You'll laugh. Hard.

For movie (and lot of other entertainment news I use www.imdb.com, www.comingsoon.net, www.aintitcoolnews.com, www.zap2it.com and, of course, the coolest game ever made www.hsx.com.

There used to only be one movie trailer guy (and there pretty much still is just the one) but he's getting super busy (and kinda old) so there are a couple more. I'm not sure how you'd get this job but I'm betting you'd really have to know someone and have one helluva demo tape.

And I just wanted to say hi to Clyde. Action movies are the best thing in cinema. I always sit in the front five rows if there is going to be explosions or a lot of punching. And nothing says a lot of action like a Chinese gang. While I'm glad that at least Steven Segal has stopped making movies (or been run out of Hollywood), I did love his chopsocky style. But my real point here is that you shouldn't let Nason co-opt your love of (bad) movies for his own greedy purposes.